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When Your Spouse Has a Heart Attack
It Happened to Me: The Caregiver
It Happened To Me: For weeks after my husband’s heart attack, I was apprehensive. My eyes would well with tears without warning, and a nagging pain would squeeze my chest. I even found it hard to breathe at times.
We were taken completely by surprise because Dan was only 49. Although his heart attack was mild—Dan underwent angioplasty and had a stent put in—we reeled emotionally for weeks after his recovery was complete. Occasionally I found myself waking up in the middle of the night to check on Dan while he slept, wondering what our future held.
After my husband returned from the hospital, I obsessively tried to eradicate all fat from our diets, which turned out to be more a symptom of my anxiety than a lifesaving strategy. As I learned more about cardiac health, I loosened up a bit and tried to focus on incorporating healthy fats. When we talked to a nutritionist during cardiac rehab, we also realized that we could include an occasional treat by balancing it with healthier options.
I used the previous tips to remind myself that I had control over our lives, our health, and our future. But the trick that worked best for me:
Savor the Present: During the immediate crisis of the heart attack, I coped using a Scarlett O’Hara approach, pushing off scary thoughts until tomorrow. But as weeks turned into months, I found that the single most effective way to combat anxiety was developing a deep appreciation of the richness of the present moment. Even a simple Sunday afternoon with coffee and the newspaper is a ritual my husband and I treasure, reminding us how much we enjoy simply being together.
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