The Heart Benefits of Massage

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Soothe sore muscles, rub away stress, and strengthen family ties with the healing power of touch.

When you think of a massage, perhaps you envision slipping away for one of those rare afternoons at the spa, or you recall the one you had on that Caribbean cruise. No matter how you imagine a massage, chances are you don’t see it as part of your daily family routine. But you should.

“We don’t touch one another enough,” says Kathleen Miller-Read, a certified massage therapist in Seattle. “Massage lets you de-stress your family and show compassion and love.”

Massages don’t need to be long, drawn-out affairs. If they last too long, they tend to fall into the realm of occasional treat instead of a regular occurrence. A quick massage can last mere minutes. And don’t limit massage only to the adults in the family. Kids respond extremely well to the power of touch.

Here’s how a day of massages tailored to suit everyone in the family could play out:

8 a.m.—Unfrazzle the Morning Rush
Just shuttling a sleepy family out the door in the morning can spike stress levels and get everyone—parents and children—off to a bad start. A few simple techniques during the wake-up routine can change morning from a rush to a relief.

At the breakfast table squeeze your child’s shoulders and gently pull and stroke the arms in long, smooth motions all the way down to the fingers. This simple move can increase blood flow and get your child ready for the day. “If you do this on a regular basis, your child will be a champ,” says Lynette Novelli, a certified massage therapist and owner of Mission Wellness, Inc., in LeClaire, Iowa. “Massage improves brain function and students will go to school more alert.”

If you have a child who has trouble waking up and even making it to the breakfast table, Miller-Read suggests gently rubbing your snoozing child in the notch that sits just underneath the bottom of the collarbone. A few minutes of this and your child will yawn, stretch, and wake up smiling. “It’s a ‘good morning’ point,” Miller-Read says. “It’s better than an alarm clock. Along with helping your child wake up, it’ll help with focus.”

5 p.m.—De-stress in the Afternoon
When family members straggle home from work and school, often the first thing they do is kick off their shoes. Good thing, too, because the foot is where your family’s afternoon massages should start. After a day on your feet, there’s nothing better.

To massage one another’s feet, sit on the couch or floor facing each other, then use your knuckles to knead the meaty, middle part of the nearest foot. Don’t worry about technique; just rub and knead where it feels good. Scented body lotion can help, too. After just five minutes, everyone will feel the day’s stress fade.

“This is a way for the whole family to make emotional connections and give time and attention to one another, expressing love,” says massage therapist Rick Halle-Podell, owner of Massage Therapy of Oak Park, Illinois, who often massages his 3-year-old son as they watch television together. “Massage is another way to communicate; you’re sending a nice message with your hands.”

If someone in your family comes home with a headache, reach for the ears. Use your fingertips to tub around inside the structure. Then gently tug up on the top of the ear and down on the ear lobes, holding each tug for a few seconds.

“During the day, this is where tension builds,” Miller-Read says. “It’s like putting on a hat; massaging the ears will warm the whole body. Ear massage works quickly and will also loosen tight jaws.” Another way to help relieve tension headaches is to make small, circular motions on the jaw muscles with your fingertips. Many people clench these muscles in response to stress.

10 p.m.—Pair Up at Night
About once a week, after the children are tucked in bed, you and your spouse can take turns giving one another a massage. A little planning will make this one of the most relaxing nights of the week.

It’s important that only one partner get the full-body treatment on a given night, because it’s hard to enjoy a massage if you have to give one immediately afterward. Besides, you’ll be a pile of relaxed mush and the only thing on your mind will be sleep.

If you’re just learning how to massage, plan to start with a 15-minute session, then work up to 20 minutes and eventually a half hour. Set the stage by having the person receiving the massage take a warm bath. Light some candles with relaxing scents, such as lavender, vanilla, citrus, or sage. Put on some mellow music and turn off the lights.

Use all-natural grapeseed oil as a massage oil. It rarely causes allergic skin reactions and won’t stain fabric if spilled. You can get it at health food stores or the health food section of your local supermarket.

For leverage, use your body weight rather than arm and hand strength alone. This should reduce wrist and elbow pain and can extend the massage time by preventing fatigue.

Get above your partner and lean part of your weight down through the heel of your hands. Maintaining this pressure, move your hands slowly along the length of the muscle you’re massaging.

Ask if there’s an area that needs attention. Once you master massage, you’ll be able to tell where the tension spots are by touch alone. They’ll feel like bumpy knots in otherwise rubbery muscle tissue. When you come across one of these knots, rub it in circular motions with your thumbs.

Finish the massage with a facial rub. Gently stroke the forehead and the area around the eyes, mouth, and nose. Continue along the face, making circles. Then rub the neck to find knotted muscle. Move back to the forehead—this time for a soft kiss—and watch your partner drift off to sleep.